Posts from — March 2009

you sound like a broken record- have you ever heard that?  we say it when people keep repeating the same thing over and over.  i guess today’s equivalent would be you sound like a stuck cd or an ipod on repeat. have you ever noticed that sometimes people say or do the same thing over and over.  this morning i read Judges 4:1- then the sons of Israel again did evil in the sight of the Lord…. there it is, did you see it?  the sons of Israel AGAIN did evil in the sight of the Lord.  the book of Judges reads like a broken record.  the sons of Israel rebel against God; God disciplines them through a foreign oppressor; the people finally get sick enough of it that they cry out to God for help; and then God faithfully raises up a deliverer to defeat the enemy and bring the people back to the blessing of God.  by the time you get to Judges 4, they’ve already repeated the cycle a few times and by the time you get to chapter 6 (with only the deliverance of chapter 4 and a song in between) they are back in rebellion and disobedience again. i can understand them doing this once or twice, but dozens of times, over and over- it makes me wonder just how stupid could these people be??

but the more i think about my own life, i see the same cycle of sin and stupidity- my life can be that same broken record- God is good; i enjoy it for a while and then slide into my own self-centered rebellion; he brings discipline or the pain of his silence; and i finally get sick enough of myself or my sin or his silence that i cry out for his help, deliverance and presence; and he, like always, raises up my deliverer Jesus to bring a new touch of the spirit so that i can taste the goodness of God again.  my capacity to sin and drift from God is like a broken record- it seems i do it over and over.  but thanks be to God that where my sin and stupidity abound, his grace and mercy super abound (Romans 5).  his mercies are new every morning, his compassion never fails, his lovingkindness is never ending- i guess, in a way, God is like a broken record too- but in a good way.  Thank you Jesus- you are ever faithful- draw me close to You.

i think one of the hardest things to deal with in life is criticism.  i know the rules when it comes to criticism: listen and if its true, then do something about it; but if its not true, then let it go.  but honestly that’s a lot harder said than done for me. usually when i hear something critical, it stings and i get depressed.  getting past critical words is especially tough when it comes from other christians who are critical of the ministry at pinelake.  twice in the past 24 hours friends have relayed to me criticisms they’ve heard about our church: 1) all you care about at your church is numbers 2)ya’ll don’t really teach the bible but instead water down the truth.  thankfully, God knows just what we need and when we need it and reveals the truth through His word.  here is what i read today in my life journal reading:

1 Corinthians 3:11-15- For no man can lay a foundation other than the one which is laid, which is Jesus Christ.  Now if any man builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, each man’s work will become evident; for the day will show it because it is to be revealed with fire, and the fire itself will test the quality of each man’s work.  If any man’s work which he has built on it remains, he will receive a reward.  if any man’s work is burned up, he will suffer  loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire.

there it is in black and white- the voice of God telling me that one day everything i do will go through a judgment of fire and only what has been done from a true and honest heart and done for His glory will last.  i accept that and receive the word of the spirit to evaluate all i say and do under the measure of truth and God’s glory alone.  but in the meantime, i don’t need to let the criticism of those who don’t know my heart nor the heart of our church ruin my peace of mind. live for an audience of one is His call.

as i’m sitting here writing this, christy read me an instant message chat she just received on facebook from one of the guys in our ministry.  he and four other guys from pinelake meet tuesday mornings to discuss a chapter in the bible and then take turns teaching it to some homeless guys on thursday night at a downtown shelter.  i love God!!! He is faithful and puts positive words and encouragement in my path just when i need it.  He always picks me up when i’m down, but as much as i fight it, hearing criticism still hurts.

i think i am becoming a fix-it man.  i’ve never been a fix-it man before, but i do (or don’t) come by it honest.  my dad wasn’t a fix-it man either.  as a kid, when things at my house broke down, tore up, wore out, or quit working, he never knew how to fix it. but God always gave him a friend who could. so it’s not my fault, i inherited my uselessness from my family tree.  i solved my handy-man handicap the old fashioned way,  i just married someone who can fix stuff.  christy is about the only woman i know who asks for power tools for special occasions.  you guys run on to the florist or victoria’s for you mother’s day gifts, i’m headed to home depot.  but lately my wife has been busy doing her art (she’s phenomenal by the way) and things around the house have fallen into disrepair. so i’ve had to step up to the plate, man or cowboy up, whatever you want to call it.  for instance, i had to fix one of the stairs on our stair case recently.  seems a couple of the nails holding down the next to last step were backing out so when you went up the stairs barefooted, they poked you in the foot and it hurt.  go ahead and laugh, but it’s not funny if your the one getting poked.  so what do i do?  rather than call a friend or spend a fortune calling a professional, i decided to take matters into my own hands.  i rummaged around until i found a hammer and i fixed it- just nailed those bad boys right back down to the wooden underworld from whence they came.  bam! mission accomplished.  i have also added changing light bulbs and air filters to my repertoire. just a little something something i now do on the side.

but this past weekend i think i graduated to a whole new level.  we had two toilets that would randomly run water into the tank for no reason at all.  no body would flush them, just every few minutes water would run water in the tank- and it was doing it non-stop, night and day.  it didn’t take long for that to get old for sure.  and after 4 short months i had had enough.  my wife obviously wasn’t going to fix-it herself, so i had to take matters into my own semi-skilled hands.  i went to lowes and bought everything i thought i would need or might need.  i’ve found it’s easier to take back the extra stuff later than to get home and find out you’ve bought the wrong thing, so i just buy two of everything i think i might need and then take back what i don’t use (just a little tip for you wanna-be’s out there).  anyway, this job required a total disassembly of the tank unit on two toilets, removing a rubber ring that keeps the water from seeping out, replacing it with a new one and then putting the whole thing back together.  sounds simple enough.  no problem, especially for a fix-it man.  a mere 4 hours later i had both units fully reassembled, no extra parts, and only two new leaks – that dripped onto the floor rather than into the bowl.   (can you say SNAP crackle pop!!) but i wouldn’t be defeated.  i headed back to lowes, took back all the extra stuff i didn’t use or that didn’t work, and bought four different types of leak sealer.  i fixed the first leak by putting the plumbing gook (not the technical name) on the water spout thing (again probably not what the pros call it) and screwing the plastic deal onto it as tight as i could. bam! no more leak.  the other leak i fixed by getting a flat-head screw driver (not to be confused with the plus “+” sign phillip’s head screw driver) and tightening the screw that holds the tank on the bowl part. bam, bam!!  oh yeah. i ain’t afraid of no leaky toilet.  i got fix-it game.

so i guess i’m changing my family tree.  the torch of taking care of business now resides on the right side of my bed.  mr. fix-it is in the house.

ok, so three months ago i agreed to drive to Eureka Springs, Arkansas (450 miles away) to do a wedding for a sweet friend.  at the time it didn’t seem like that big a deal.  christy could go with me, we would do a little romantic get-a-way for a day and night and then come back home.  well, yesterday was the wedding day, and turns out christy couldn’t go. so i got up at 5:15 am so i could get on the road by 6:00 am ready for the 8 hr drive.  the wedding, i thought, was at 4 pm so i would have a little margin (translated, not have to drive like a bat out of a hot place) to get there.  the drive was messy- rain all through lose-iana and when i got to conway, arkansas turning into the ozarks, it started snowing. yucky conditions but it made for a really pretty drive through the mountains for sure.  i got to eureka springs around 2ish and got some lunch at a bar-b-que joint.  the que was really good and they had the sec tournament on tv so i got to watch my bulldogs give it to georgia.  i texted the bride to tell her i was in town and she said i was early- the wedding wasn’t until 5.  no big deal.  i pulled into a parking lot, took a 30 minute siesta and then got dressed for the wedding.  the wedding was in an incredibly beautiful chapel called thorncrown- it was a glass chapel nestled in the woods on the side of a mountain.  the wedding went fine but here is where it got a little crazy.  after the wedding i had to decide what to do for the night.  i could stay in eureka springs and pray the weather didn’t freeze me in (not happening), i could drive back to little rock and crash (out of any danger from being snowed in but still 5 hours from home- an option, but not an appealing one) or i could point the f-150 toward home and let it roll.  guess what i chose?  option 3 of course.  hit the road in eureka at 6 pm and prepared for the 450 mile track home.  my plan was to get to little rock and make a decision from there.  if you don’t sleep in little rock, there aren’t many options between there and home.  i got to little rock around and decided to push on.   the trip wasn’t that bad actually.  i made much better time on the way home- i think its downhill all the way, my wife kept sending me awesome text messages to keep me awake- and the mt dew and 5 hour energy didn’t hurt either.  so why do it?  why drive all the way back home?   here’s the deal- i would rather sleep for a few hours in my own bed with my girlfriend (translated wife for those of you who don’t know me) than sleep all night in a strange bed by myself.  that may sound crazy to some, but for me, that’s just the way i roll.

im sitting in the Hilton Garden Inn in Dallas at 5:15am.  im sitting instead of sleeping because my mind has been thinking on random things since 3:30.  weird how your body can really want to sleep, but your mind just won’t go into “park”.  i think my malady is probably due to information overload.  we just came through an incredible weekend of serving our city that was extremely exciting and i’m at a conference with some really sharp pastors from around the nation and was exposed to some great resources yesterday.  so while part of me really wants to sleep, this other part of me won’t let it happen.  so here i sit at 5:15 wide awake.  usually if i’m up this early, it’s hunting season and one of God’s poor defenseless creatures is in danger of death- gotta feed the family you know.  but today, i am the hunted.  it’s as if God tracked me down in a different town and set his sights on me.  i got up and read my Life Journal reading from Deuteronomy 15 and God gave me a promise.  in Deuteronomy 15:10 he says that he will bless me in everything i do- all my work and in all my undertakings.  now that’s a promise i like.  that’s a promise i can pray and mean, ‘lord, bless me in all my work and in everything i do, amen.’  and i believe God can do it too.  but it’s a promise that comes at the end of the verse, not the beginning.  the first part of the verse gives me a command to keep- give to the poor generously. Snap!  can’t i just take the promise without the requirement?  that’s really what i want, just a blank check of blessing… for free.  but God has a different (and no doubt a better) plan.  he says that the gateway to the blessed life is through helping the poor.  i have to give- and not just a token gift either.  i have to give generously. double snap!  and then he adds an attitudinal element- my heart can’t be grieved when i give (that means i have to take back the ’snaps’).  i can’t hate that i’m having to part with my money, i can’t be ticked because i wanted to spend the money on myself, i can’t get down because there went my margin for the month.  doesn’t the bible say somewhere something about God loving a ‘cheerful’ giver.  that’s the heart God desires in me.  He desires that i freely and willingly give to the poor, the people in need, because i am convinced that if i meet the needs of the poor around me out of the supply of my resources and bring blessing to them, then i have One who will meet my needs out of the supply of His resources and bring blessing to me.  am i willing to take that deal?  do i dare pray that God show me a poor person to help today?  am i willing to let this become a way of life?  i know it’s early and i’ve only had a half a cup of coffee so far, but i think my answer is ABSOLUTELY.

ok, so a couple of days ago my son Regan and i are enjoying a little “man time.”  Christy and McKenzie were at her mom and dad’s house in Winona and Rachel was with a friend, so after church my little man and i headed to lunch.  after talking him out of going to Sonic for a hotdog for Sunday lunch, we settled on the next best thing- Golden China Buffet.  Chinese is not my favorite, but we like going there- it’s tiny- seats only a hand full of people, it’s usually quick (which means daddy is that much closer to his Sunday afternoon nap) and they have killer donuts for desert. after polishing off a few pieces of what i think was general tso’s chicken (that’s what the sign said) and some donuts we headed home.  on the way home, my 6 year old says, “Dad, what was your favorite part about being a kid?”  i thought for a few seconds and said, probably riding my bike to Byars swimming pool and swimming every day in the summer.  He said i think that’s my favorite part too.  then he said, what’s your favorite part about being an adult?  i weighed several possibilities, but before i could answer he said, you know what i think my favorite part will be?  i said what?  he said spending time with God and telling people about Jesus.  he said i’m in school now and don’t have time (actually k-5, but he does stay all day) but when i get big that’s what i want to do.  in that moment several things flashed through my mind.  one- he thinks his dad doesn’t do anything all day.  two-his answer is way more spiritual than the options i was thinking about.  three- i was so proud of him words can’t even describe it.  

3 John 4 says i have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth.  i pray this is one childhood wish God will let my little man live out.