i just got through describing why you need a love triangle.  if you haven’t read that entry, you probably need to do that for this to make sense.  but assuming (and i know how dangerous that is) you have your triangle complete, let me tell you a few benefits i see of keeping the love triangle alive in your love life.  

first, your pursuit of God brings transformation of your life that you need to be a better lover.  as you experience the love, grace, forgiveness, peace, patience, strength, joy, kindness, and blessing of God, you become a different person.  not only do you become a different person, but you become a better lover.  in any relationship, you can’t give what you don’t have.  but when you receive from God unconditional love, grace, forgiveness, etc, now you have something to share with the one you love.

second, your pursuit of God provides good boundaries for your relationship.  it’s like this.  my dog gracie wears a shock collar when she goes outside.  if she gets close to getting too far from the house and outside the safe zone, her collar beeps.  if she keeps going away from the house, the collar zaps her with an electric shock until she runs back close to the house.  God doesn’t put a collar around your neck (although it’s not a bad idea- ok maybe it is), but He does put His Spirit in your heart and the spirit warns us and even zaps us if we get outside of Christ-like behavior in the relationship.  the deal is i can’t walk with God and mistreat the person i love at the same time.  i can mistreat my wife, but i can’t walk with God and do that.  and if i try, His spirit brings conviction (the zap) either that i’m distant from Him or in disobedience to Him by the way i treat my girl. make sense? don’t answer that.

another benefit is that the triangle gives unity to my relationship.  if you and the one you love are both chasing God, you are chasing the same thing and are running together.  God isn’t a God of confusion or division, He is a God of unity and order.  translated, God won’t tell you one thing and your love another.  if your goal is God, and you both get to the goal, then by definition, you are going to come to the same place- agreement and unity.  that’s why paul told us not to get yoked up with someone who isn’t chasing God (2 Corinthians 6:14-17).  the best way to experience intimacy and closeness, is to agree that God is the goal of the relationship.  by the way, this means there is no such thing as an irreconcilable difference too. in Christ, we are always able to reconcile.

finally, the love triangle provides perspective on everything else in life.  stuff pulls at you daily- work, finances, friends, kids, hobbies- they all vie for your time, attention, and energy.  the tendency in life is to drift toward those things that make demands of you and you end up getting your priorities all out of whack and at the same time your love life loses it’s edge because your love isn’t a priority.  how do you keep from letting stuff come between you and your love?  easy, you just keep walking with God because He daily reminds you of what is most important- God first, spouse second, and then all the other stuff somewhere after that.

this might get a bit confusing, but stay with me.  if your love relationship is going to be any good, you need a love triangle.  yeah, that’s right, but i promise it’s probably not what you are thinking.  if i were tech savvy i would draw this, but since i’m not either you have to imagine it or draw it yourself.  on a piece of paper, draw yourself (stick people work, they make you look skinnier too) and then on the opposite side of the page, draw a stick person that represents the person you are in love with.  then draw a straight line from you to them (in my drawing usually that line is 6″-8″).  now in your love life, the goal of your relationship is to make this distance as short as possible, right?  ie, you want to get as close as you can.  so how do you do that?  people try all kinds of ways to get and stay close, but here is the best way and the only way that works long term- you have to add God to the mix.  above your stick couple and in the middle of the line connecting you two, write God (you can’t draw Him b/c nobody knows what He looks like).  now draw a line from you to God and a line from the one you love to God.  the picture in front of you should be a triangle- you and your love on the bottom angles and God at the top of the pyramid.  now here is why you need this love triangle.  you need God in your life and your goal in life, even above your relationship with the person you love, should be to walk as closely with God as possible.  you need to pursue God.  you need to read the Bible, pray, worship, live, all the spiritual disciplines and everything in your life should be aimed at God. now on your triangle, draw another stick you on the line connected to God, but a lot closer to God than the first stick you (that’s called spiritual growth).  as you chase God, you get closer to Him.  at the same time, suppose the person you love does the same thing- they too go all out for God, chasing hard after Him and over time, they too move up their line of connection to God and become much closer to Him. draw a new stick them closer to God like the new stick you.  now draw a new line between the two new stick people that have gotten closer to God.  what happens to the distance between the two of you as you chase God and get closer to Him?  that’s right, you get drawn closer together.  now you see why you need a love triangle. if you really want to experience lasting love, the best way to do it is to chase after God and let Him draw you together.

in matthew 15, the religious leaders got bent at Jesus because His disciples didn’t wash their hands before they ate- thus breaking the tradition of the elders.  Jesus called the crowd of people together and said it’s not what enters your mouth that defiles you, but what comes out of your mouth that does.  later (matthew 15:15), peter asked Jesus to explain what that meant.  so Jesus broke it off like this.  ”Do you not understand that everything that goes into the mouth passes into the stomach and is eliminated?  but the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man.  for out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders.  these are the things which defile the man; but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile the man.”

so many times i think we still fall into that trap of focusing on the externals while ignoring the real issue- our heart.  we want to make sure that nobody goes to the wrong place or drinks the wrong thing, or doesn’t do this or does do that.  and i get that we have to be conspicuous in the way we live- holy even.  but Jesus just seemed to care about a whole different set of stuff and degree of “rightness” than we do.  somehow i don’t think He got tore up over the stuff we get bent about.  He fixated on the internal stuff- thoughts, passions, attitudes.  more directly, He’s interested in my thoughts, my passions, my attitudes… and yours too.  the external stuff, He said, doesn’t defile us and make us unclean.  but the mess i tolerate in my mind, the hate i let linger in my heart, the selfishness in my spirit, that stuff keeps me from the purity He desires in me.  i’m reminded of what david wrote in psalm 139- God sees it all- he knows my thoughts and my words- even before i speak them.  so at the end of the psalm david asked God to search him and try him to see if there was “any hurtful way IN me.”  maybe that’s really what i need to be striving for too.  i can have my outer man in complete conformity with all religious expectations and still be far from God because of what i hold in my heart.  but if my heart is completely given to God and pure, then it doesn’t matter what anybody else says about my outside.  

i think this is a word for the church today.  what is it that we are really concerned about- making sure people “behave” or trying to help people love God from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith?

Jesus contrasted living by your lips versus living by your heart. in God’s eyes, you can’t just talk the spiritual talk, you have to really have a spiritual heart and walk.  He says in Matthew 15:7-9- You hypocrites, rightly did Isaiah prophesy of you: This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far away from me.  but in vain to they worship me, teaching as doctrines the precepts of men.  lip service is talking a good game, saying all the right things, even going through the right motions, but not really living out or believing the things you profess.  Jesus told us repeatedly that it’s not what we say to him, for him or about him that matters. it’s possible to say great things and make great confessions with our lips and still completely miss the whole point of spiritual life and relationship with Jesus- matthew 7:21-23.  jesus says lip service is empty and vain.

what really matters is the condition and position of our heart.  it is with the heart that you believe (romans 10:9-10), you love (matthew 22:37, you sing (colossians 3:16), you obey (romans 6:17), you give (2 corinthians 9:7), it’s what the spirit searches (romans 8:27), and what the Father wants to clean (psalm 51:10).  spiritual life flows from the heart.  that’s who you really are.  Jesus doesn’t want me to keep my heart far away from Him while i talk a bunch of spiritual emptiness.  He wants my heart to be completely given to him- even if i don’t say a word.  

you know what that affects?  it affects everything.  if i sing in church, it’s not just that i sing the words, but do i mean them.  if i give to the poor, it’s not my action that matters, it’s my heart condition- am i hating it and really greedy on the inside.  i need to obey God from the heart, not because i want you to think i’m spiritual or “good” or because i think i can impress God.  when i love, it can’t be a self-serving love.  it affects my faith- relationship with God isn’t found in saying the right prayer or making a confession i don’t believe or understand.  spiritual life flows from my heart- where i determine how i love, what i believe, whom i obey, when i sing, and why i give.

in Matthew 15, Jesus juxtaposes two different ways of doing life.  the first contrast is between living by the traditions of men versus living by the word of God.  in the first few verses, the religious leaders are bent because Jesus and His disciples don’t wash their hands like they are supposed to.  Jesus responds by telling them they let their traditions nullify the Word.  apparently a person could vow to give their money to the temple, which is not a bad thing.  actually it’s a good thing.  but if a person vowed to give money to the temple and then their aging parents were in need, the religious leaders were telling people they couldn’t us the money to help their family, they had to give it to the church.  i’m not clear if the “giver” was using this “corban” vow to get out of helping their family or if the religious leaders were demanding the vow be kept after it was made, but either way, the religious leaders knew what was going on.  and Jesus knew what was going on and told them they had lost their spiritual minds- they had invalidated the word of God for the sake of their tradition.

on the surface, it may seem like that has nothing to do with us.  but i wonder if sometimes we haven’t done the same thing?  i think about how martin luther went off on some traditions of men in his day- acts of penance and the selling of indulgences.  both of those “traditions of men” stood in direct contradiction to the teaching of scripture that we are saved by grace through faith alone and that we are to live holy lives in purity.  i was brought up to believe that you didn’t drink, dance, or smoke and don’t even hang around people who do.  now i’m not trying to cause myself trouble, but i wonder if Jesus would agree?  i’m certain He lived a sinless life, but would he go along with “what i’ve always been told?”  if i remember right, he actually kinda got in trouble for hanging with the wrong crowd at times.  and while i’m getting myself in trouble, what would he say to people like my mom (by far one of the most godly women i know) who declare that if you don’t have or go to sunday night church you are somehow not really doing all you should do for God and might even go to the “bad place”- {think hot and south}- (yikes…i hope she doesn’t read this- and if you know her, please don’t feel obligated to share any of this with her) but i do wonder.  while we’re at it, what about wednesday night service, come down front invitations, sunday school, three points and a poem sermons, and going to mama’s for lunch on sunday?  i don’t know about those first few, but surely there’s a bible verse somewhere about mama cooking on sunday!

what’s the point of all this?  i guess it’s just me and my small group last night wondering what we really base our lives on.  i’m asking are there places in my spiritual life where my tradition and God’s word may not exactly line up? and whose rules should i live by?  will i live my life based on the word of God alone or will i live based on the traditions of men?  no doubt, Jesus says go with the word every time. – enough for now.

without doubt this was one of the most rewarding easter experiences i’ve ever had.  as i think back on the week, several thoughts come to mind.

1) it took a ton of work- from sunday to sunday we had over 30 different worship experiences between the three campuses.  our staff team and volunteers are without doubt the best i’ve ever seen.

2) i learned some incredible stuff during the seder meal.  i never knew that the crowd that welcomed Jesus into jerusalem was actually waiting on the priest to bring the national passover lamb to the temple mount. i never knew that the priest said “it is finished” when he slaughtered the lamb.  and i never knew jesus had salt rubbed in his wounds to increase the pain.  in every aspect, Jesus is the passover lamb.

3) the 1-1-1 prayer was powerful.  for two weeks our church prayed for one person, for one minute, at one oclock.  within the first week, i was already receiving emails saying that people’s 1-1-1 prayer for someone to accept Christ or to come to church on easter was already answered.  incredible is the power of prayer.

4) no one worship experience or event was overwhelming by itself, but the cumulative effect of doing something every day made resurrection sunday much more special.  in the past, i’ve been guilty of not really thinking about easter until easter sunday.  but this week was different and so much better.  

5)easter sunday at pinelake rocks.  it seems like our worship teams and choirs just elevate to a whole new level during easter.  the tons of volunteers do the same- even at 6:00am, people are already smiling and serving- and i couldn’t be more proud.  every hour was great, but i have to tip my hat to the crowd who braved the 6:30 service- y’all turned out in force and the spirit was incredible.  

6)just way to go God.  good programs are no substitute for His presence and He never disappoints.  thank You Father for doing your deal- and for those whose eternity You changed this week.

7) i really don’t have a number 7, but you can’t end a spiritual blog with the number 6.

you sound like a broken record- have you ever heard that?  we say it when people keep repeating the same thing over and over.  i guess today’s equivalent would be you sound like a stuck cd or an ipod on repeat. have you ever noticed that sometimes people say or do the same thing over and over.  this morning i read Judges 4:1- then the sons of Israel again did evil in the sight of the Lord…. there it is, did you see it?  the sons of Israel AGAIN did evil in the sight of the Lord.  the book of Judges reads like a broken record.  the sons of Israel rebel against God; God disciplines them through a foreign oppressor; the people finally get sick enough of it that they cry out to God for help; and then God faithfully raises up a deliverer to defeat the enemy and bring the people back to the blessing of God.  by the time you get to Judges 4, they’ve already repeated the cycle a few times and by the time you get to chapter 6 (with only the deliverance of chapter 4 and a song in between) they are back in rebellion and disobedience again. i can understand them doing this once or twice, but dozens of times, over and over- it makes me wonder just how stupid could these people be??

but the more i think about my own life, i see the same cycle of sin and stupidity- my life can be that same broken record- God is good; i enjoy it for a while and then slide into my own self-centered rebellion; he brings discipline or the pain of his silence; and i finally get sick enough of myself or my sin or his silence that i cry out for his help, deliverance and presence; and he, like always, raises up my deliverer Jesus to bring a new touch of the spirit so that i can taste the goodness of God again.  my capacity to sin and drift from God is like a broken record- it seems i do it over and over.  but thanks be to God that where my sin and stupidity abound, his grace and mercy super abound (Romans 5).  his mercies are new every morning, his compassion never fails, his lovingkindness is never ending- i guess, in a way, God is like a broken record too- but in a good way.  Thank you Jesus- you are ever faithful- draw me close to You.

i think one of the hardest things to deal with in life is criticism.  i know the rules when it comes to criticism: listen and if its true, then do something about it; but if its not true, then let it go.  but honestly that’s a lot harder said than done for me. usually when i hear something critical, it stings and i get depressed.  getting past critical words is especially tough when it comes from other christians who are critical of the ministry at pinelake.  twice in the past 24 hours friends have relayed to me criticisms they’ve heard about our church: 1) all you care about at your church is numbers 2)ya’ll don’t really teach the bible but instead water down the truth.  thankfully, God knows just what we need and when we need it and reveals the truth through His word.  here is what i read today in my life journal reading:

1 Corinthians 3:11-15- For no man can lay a foundation other than the one which is laid, which is Jesus Christ.  Now if any man builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, each man’s work will become evident; for the day will show it because it is to be revealed with fire, and the fire itself will test the quality of each man’s work.  If any man’s work which he has built on it remains, he will receive a reward.  if any man’s work is burned up, he will suffer  loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire.

there it is in black and white- the voice of God telling me that one day everything i do will go through a judgment of fire and only what has been done from a true and honest heart and done for His glory will last.  i accept that and receive the word of the spirit to evaluate all i say and do under the measure of truth and God’s glory alone.  but in the meantime, i don’t need to let the criticism of those who don’t know my heart nor the heart of our church ruin my peace of mind. live for an audience of one is His call.

as i’m sitting here writing this, christy read me an instant message chat she just received on facebook from one of the guys in our ministry.  he and four other guys from pinelake meet tuesday mornings to discuss a chapter in the bible and then take turns teaching it to some homeless guys on thursday night at a downtown shelter.  i love God!!! He is faithful and puts positive words and encouragement in my path just when i need it.  He always picks me up when i’m down, but as much as i fight it, hearing criticism still hurts.

i think i am becoming a fix-it man.  i’ve never been a fix-it man before, but i do (or don’t) come by it honest.  my dad wasn’t a fix-it man either.  as a kid, when things at my house broke down, tore up, wore out, or quit working, he never knew how to fix it. but God always gave him a friend who could. so it’s not my fault, i inherited my uselessness from my family tree.  i solved my handy-man handicap the old fashioned way,  i just married someone who can fix stuff.  christy is about the only woman i know who asks for power tools for special occasions.  you guys run on to the florist or victoria’s for you mother’s day gifts, i’m headed to home depot.  but lately my wife has been busy doing her art (she’s phenomenal by the way) and things around the house have fallen into disrepair. so i’ve had to step up to the plate, man or cowboy up, whatever you want to call it.  for instance, i had to fix one of the stairs on our stair case recently.  seems a couple of the nails holding down the next to last step were backing out so when you went up the stairs barefooted, they poked you in the foot and it hurt.  go ahead and laugh, but it’s not funny if your the one getting poked.  so what do i do?  rather than call a friend or spend a fortune calling a professional, i decided to take matters into my own hands.  i rummaged around until i found a hammer and i fixed it- just nailed those bad boys right back down to the wooden underworld from whence they came.  bam! mission accomplished.  i have also added changing light bulbs and air filters to my repertoire. just a little something something i now do on the side.

but this past weekend i think i graduated to a whole new level.  we had two toilets that would randomly run water into the tank for no reason at all.  no body would flush them, just every few minutes water would run water in the tank- and it was doing it non-stop, night and day.  it didn’t take long for that to get old for sure.  and after 4 short months i had had enough.  my wife obviously wasn’t going to fix-it herself, so i had to take matters into my own semi-skilled hands.  i went to lowes and bought everything i thought i would need or might need.  i’ve found it’s easier to take back the extra stuff later than to get home and find out you’ve bought the wrong thing, so i just buy two of everything i think i might need and then take back what i don’t use (just a little tip for you wanna-be’s out there).  anyway, this job required a total disassembly of the tank unit on two toilets, removing a rubber ring that keeps the water from seeping out, replacing it with a new one and then putting the whole thing back together.  sounds simple enough.  no problem, especially for a fix-it man.  a mere 4 hours later i had both units fully reassembled, no extra parts, and only two new leaks – that dripped onto the floor rather than into the bowl.   (can you say SNAP crackle pop!!) but i wouldn’t be defeated.  i headed back to lowes, took back all the extra stuff i didn’t use or that didn’t work, and bought four different types of leak sealer.  i fixed the first leak by putting the plumbing gook (not the technical name) on the water spout thing (again probably not what the pros call it) and screwing the plastic deal onto it as tight as i could. bam! no more leak.  the other leak i fixed by getting a flat-head screw driver (not to be confused with the plus “+” sign phillip’s head screw driver) and tightening the screw that holds the tank on the bowl part. bam, bam!!  oh yeah. i ain’t afraid of no leaky toilet.  i got fix-it game.

so i guess i’m changing my family tree.  the torch of taking care of business now resides on the right side of my bed.  mr. fix-it is in the house.