I don’t want to grow up

My whole life I have been trying to be older than I really am. Whether it was as a kid trying to have a deeper voice ( I still to this day get mistaken for a women on the phone), as a teenager trying to grow facial hair, as a young dad trying to fit in with other dads twice my age (still the youngest dad at all my kids games) or even as the youngest guy on a church staff, I have always tried to be more advanced, always trying to distract attention from my lack of years.

 

In many facets I have tried so hard to live a mature life without having the experiential scars to back it up. But as time has passed, one experience after another, one breath after the next has aged me and I am not a kid anymore. The responsibilities alone of leading my wife and kids don’t allow me to be immature or childish. Then, add on the people that depend on me outside of the home and the pressure can feel overwhelming. This Word reminds me that my life with You is the only place where I can feel ok being a child. In your presence I see my severe limitations. I see my ignorance, my clumsiness, my silliness. I don’t have to impress you. My desire is that in the process of seeking to be a man after your heart and a man who follows after you that I wouldn’t cease being a little child reaching for the hand of His Father

 

God, thank you that I can be a child in Your presence. Not as an excuse to be childish … but as a truth that drives me into the arms of my Daddy in the good and bad. God thank you for accepting me, as I am and that regardless of how much I age I am still your little boy.