Stories

Freedom from the Filth

05.06.16 | Written Stories

I’m a very outgoing person, but for the most part of my life I was very insecure. So, I went through life looking for a man to offer me the love and acceptance that I couldn’t offer myself.

I spent most of my teen years and early 20s in a drunken haze. I thought I could only have fun if I drank. So, I drank, and I drank — and I drank. Being intoxicated made it easier to feel accepted, and it made it a lot easier for me seek the physical attention that I thought would make me feel better. I thought that sex meant acceptance. I thought it meant that I was attractive. I thought it meant that I was wanted. When I was drinking, I could convince myself that it was all okay and that it wasn’t really that bad. I told myself that I was young, and it was okay to be a little wild.

When I was drinking, I could convince myself that it was all okay and that it wasn’t really that bad. 

But drinking led to a drug habit that increasingly took over my life. I was honestly afraid of the person I was becoming.

I had completely lost faith in God. I thought the Bible was just a well-written fictional story. I didn’t believe that God was who people claimed He was, and I certainly didn’t believe that He was looking out for me. I never felt a personal connection to Him and believed I never would.

I don’t know what it was that made me pick up my phone and download the Pinelake App, but I can only assume that it was God. He led me to watch the Unstuck series, and it changed my life. In the process of that series, I truly became unstuck. It was one specific line, I think, that changed me, and it was this: In order to be made clean, we have to first admit that we are dirty. I was filthy. I knew it was time to make a change.

When I decided to commit my life to God, he made Himself felt immediately. And I am so amazed at how quickly He changed my heart, how quickly He took away the negative things I once desired, how He filled my heart with excitement to learn and live His Word.

When I decided to commit my life to God, he made Himself felt immediately.

I never thought that I would be one of those people who enjoyed going to church to hear the Word. Never thought I would be excited to read and understand the Bible. I never thought that I would be one of the people that could actually feel God. But God has changed my heart in leaps and bounds, and for the first time in my life I am truly happy. I didn’t know I could experience such peace and joy.

Since God has made this change in my heart, I often tell people that the circumstances of my life are the same as they were before He transformed me. I still dislike my job, I’m still struggling financially and I still haven’t met “the one.” But I’m happy! I’m happier than I ever thought was possible. But it wasn’t until I stopped looking for worldly things to give me that happiness that I could truly feel the love of God. I now look to God as the only source of my happiness.

If there is one message that I would like for my story to convey it’s this: It doesn’t matter how filthy you are, whom the Son sets free is truly free indeed.

I’m free!

— Lauren Prince, Pinelake Starkville