More Than A Feeling | May 10, 2026

Healthy Relationships Require Servanthood – Chip Henderson

OPENING QUESTION

What is one of the nicest things someone has ever done for you and why?

SCRIPTURE ANCHOR

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves.”
— Philippians 2:3

GROW

Most relationship tension doesn’t start with what’s said out loud—it starts with quiet expectations. We want to be noticed, appreciated, understood. And when that doesn’t happen, frustration builds.

Philippians 2 shifts that focus. Instead of centering ourselves, it calls us to humility—to consider others as more important. That’s not natural. But it is the way of Jesus.

In John 13, Jesus doesn’t just teach servanthood—He models it. The One with all authority kneels and washes feet. He knew exactly who He was, and because of that, He was free to serve.

There are four aspects to servanthood we must understand:

Confidence of a Servant – knowing one’s identity in Christ

Consideration of a servant – valuing others above oneself

Conduct of a servant – actively serving and sacrificing for others

Compensation of a servant – God’s blessing for those who serve.

Understanding these four aspects helps us realize that joy and fulfillment in relationships are directly tied to one’s willingness to serve others. Let’s talk about how we can shift from expecting to be served to actively serving others.

  • Read Philippians 2:3–5. What stands out to you about how we’re called to treat others?

  • Read John 13:3–5. Why is it significant that Jesus chose to serve in this way?

  • Which aspect of servanthood is hardest for you right now: confidence, consideration, conduct, or compensation? Why?

PRAY

Serving others sounds good…until it costs you something.

It costs time.

It costs comfort.

Sometimes it even costs recognition.

And if we’re honest, that’s where resistance shows up. We want to serve—as long as it’s convenient or appreciated.

But real servanthood flows from surrender. It’s asking God to shift your heart, not just your actions. It’s trusting that He sees what others don’t and that nothing done for Him is wasted.

You don’t have to force this. You can ask for it.

  • Where do you feel resistance or hesitancy when it comes to serving others?

  • What would it look like to invite God into that space this week?

    CONNECT

    Servanthood changes the atmosphere of a relationship.

    It softens tension.

    It builds trust.

    It creates space for honesty and growth. But it must be lived out. This is how we build real connection with others.

    • What are examples of serving others that may not be quite as obvious or expected?

    • What’s one relationship that could look different if you led with servanthood?

    • How could this group better serve one another? What would it take to make this a reality?

    SHARE

    Servanthood doesn’t just impact your relationships—it points people to Jesus.

    It stands out in a world that says, “Look out for yourself.”

    It reflects a Savior who chose humility over status and sacrifice over comfort.

    • Can you think of a time when someone’s servant-hearted actions stood out to you or others? What happened?

    • Who in your life could be impacted if you intentionally served them this week?

    • How could that act of service create an opportunity to share your faith or encourage someone?

    LIVE IT OUT: BE THE CHURCH THIS WEEK

    Grow: Read Philippians 2:3–11 each day. Ask, “Where is God calling me to serve instead of expect?”

    Pray: Ask God to give you a servant’s heart—especially in one relationship that feels difficult.

    Connect: Choose one person this week and intentionally put their needs before your own.

    Share: Do one act of service that costs you something—your time, comfort, or convenience—and trust God with the impact.